How I imagine “The viagra talk” would go with your doctor.
Doc: So, how’s the wife Glen?
Glen: She’s good
Doc: C’mon Glen, how’s the wife?
Pause
Glen: Alright, we’re having a little bit of trouble.
Doc: We’re having a bit of trouble?
Glen: Alright, I’m having a bit of trouble…
Doc: Well what’s the problem?
Glen: I can’t, you know…get it up.
Doc: Well, I don’t believe you.
Glen: What?
Doc: Show me your penis.
Glen: What? Why?
Doc: I’m a doctor Glen, I can’t just hand out Viagra to anyone who says they got a limp dick. Some guys just wanna last longer and don’t actually have an erectile dysfunction. OK, now let me see that penis of yours.
Glen: Um, O-OK…
Glen pulls down his trousers.
Glen: Hey, wait. What’s that pink feather for?
Doc: Just relax…alright, I’m a doctor.
Glen: Wait, what the hel-
Doc: Shhhhhhh
Doc reveals that his entire outfit is a tear-away suit. Underneath is a skimpy outfit made of spandex and leather. The lights are lowered and a disco ball appears from the ceiling accompanied by 70’s disco music.
Doc: Have you ever wanted to fuck a doctor Glen? Is that a fantasy of yours?
Glen: What the hell is going on?????
Doc: You wanna fuck me?
Glen: WHAT? NO! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! STOP THAT! PUT THE FEATHER DOWN! PUT THE GODDAMN FEATHER DOWN!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!?!?!?!… HELP!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!
The disco ball ascends back into the ceiling. The lights go up and the music stops. Doc picks back up his clipboard.
Doc: Alright, it seems you’ve passed the test. You are indeed not clinically a homosexual. Don’t feel weird, this is standard procedure, we are required by the state to do this test. Some guys, they come in here saying that they can’t get it up; when in fact sometimes, they’re just gay and they didn’t even know it! Haha, imagine that! You should see how awkward it is when they actually do get an erection hahahahahahaha!
Glen: …
Doc: NURSE KELLY!!!
Glen: Uh…
Kelly:Yes, doctor?
Doc: Could you please get Glen’s files updated?
Kelly: Yes sir, right away.
Doc: Thanks, I’ll be right back in a moment with your prescription Glen.
Glen: Uh, O-OK, thanks…
pause
Kelly: Oh no!
Glen: What? What’s wrong…
Kelly: I just accidentally saw what your prescription was for…I’m not supposed to look at it! Oh no no no no! This is bad.
Glen: Oh…um, don’t worry about it. It’s fine!
Kelly: Really?
Glen: Yeah, it’s. It’s fine.
Kelly. OK. So, is you wife like fat or something?
Glen: How dare you! No, she is a beautiful woman.
Kelly: Have you ever wanted to fuck a nurse?
Glen: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The disco ball drops and Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” begins to play.
Kelly: C’mon let’s fuck before the doc gets back!
Glen: NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! HEY! HEY! PUT DOWN THE FEATHER! PUT IT DOWN!
Kelly: Hehehehe, woops. I’m naked now. hehe.
Glen: Oh no…
Glen attains an erection. Doc literally bursts through the opposing wall.
Doc: AH HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
