Scientology.com’s FAQs
Wait, you guys are aware that your entire religion is based on a science fiction novel, right?
-Yes, we are fully aware of that.
Wait, wait wait-and you guys aware that science fiction novels are written by…science fiction writers. Not philosophers, prophets, or any divine being of any kind.
-Ok, now this is just getting hateful.
Hey, you guys do know that if Dr. Seuss were to create a religion based on the children’s book The Cat in Hat or if Dav Pilkey created a religion based on The Captain Underpants series, it would have just as much credibility as Scientology?
-Ha, I know! Yeah like who someone would worship a cat, in a hat? But, yes we are aware of this.
Wait, you guys really believe this?
-Yes, we do.
What? Really? Haha!
-Yes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-Oh, come on. That’s not even a question.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?
-Fuck off, ok.
Does Tom Cruise still look great in whitey titeys?
-Well, if you don’t focus on the celulite. Yeah, he looks fantastic in them.
Where can I sign up?
-Wait, is this a joke? …
