The Peanuts Gang: Where They Are Now
Charlie Brown ended up going to University of Connecticut, on scholarship, where he double majored in Finance and Economics. Upon graduation, he moved to New York City to take up a job in The New York Stock Exchange. He was the co-chairman during the 9/11 attacks and was a key member in the meeting with the controversial terrorist group FARC from Columbia. In 2004 he was convicted for insider trading and for filing fraudulent tax returns. He now resides in a white-collar maximum security prison in Houston.
Snoopy has been dead for the past forty years. His doghouse was overtaken by three homeless men who sold beaded necklaces fashioned out of used Skittles. Snoopy’s carcass still remains on top of the doghouse and has been assembled into some sort of flag. The homeless men are dead now too. They all still remain in or on the doghouse. The typewriter is in oddly great shape, though.
Linus replaced his blanket in junior high with an unquenchable thirst for drugs.
It was found that Sally Brown had a congenital growth-hormone condition. She remains an adolescent Peanut forever, which is way creepier than you think.
Lucy majored in Early Childhood Education at Boston University where she joined the sorority Alpha Zeta Phi and gained 30 lbs. She picked her major solely based on the fact that she has no other skills besides thinking children are cute. Upon graduation, she acquired a job teaching at Adams Elementary School in Boston in hopes that she would only work three years before marrying rich and getting pregnant. She did so in two years and has quit her job since. She now feels an empty void that can only be drowned out by pills and infidelity.
Woodstock: also super dead.
Shroeder ended up going to Penn State where he majored in Philosophy. He begin to experiment with psychedelic drugs and purchased a Moog modular synthesizer. He later became apart of the first wave of electronic experimentation in the early 70’s. His first EP was titled Rainbow Planet and received some attention from several publications. He toured Europe as the opening act for Kraftwerk in the early 80’s. He now works as a producer at Domino Records.
Peppermint Patty never went to college and is a lesbian.
Marcie looks like this now:
and tours bars across the country as one of the Vegan Vodka Girls.
No one knows what happened to Franklin…
