What That Dude in the Folgers Commercial Was Doing in West Africa
Folgers Guy: Look, I don’t know about this, alright?
African Guerilla Leader: We had a fucking deal! You take the heroin to America and you’ll get $45,000 once you arrive there safely with the drugs.
Folgers Guy: I don’t know! This is a lot of heroin. I just. I feel like I’m going to get caught.
…
African Guerilla Leader: I…see you have a sister in Idaho who lives with your parents.
Folgers Guy: You wouldn’t dare…
African Guerilla Leader: We wouldn’t want anything… bad… to happen to them now, would we?
Folgers Guy: You bastard!
African Guerilla Leader: Do we have an agreement? You take the drugs to America, you’ll get the money and your family won’t be harmed.
Folgers Guy is silent.
African Guerilla Leader: DO WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT?????
Folgers Guy: No. We don’t.
Folgers Guy pulls out a pistol and shoots the African Guerilla Leader in the face. He then kills both of his guards, shooting them in the face. He strips down naked and cuts off the heroin strapped to his stomach and inner thighs. They’re tight. He ends up cutting himself badly in an attempt to strip the heroin from his body. He lays in the tent thinking he is going to die. He suddenly thinks about Folgers Medium Roast blend coffee and finds the strength to make it to his fight on time.
