Harken the Bats
Hey, it’s me TOMMY LIGHTNING from Harken the Bats (www.myspace.com/harkenthebats3), a Christian hardcore metal band from Hell Saint Paul, Minnesota.
Now, I know a lot of you guys are like, metal AND Christian ideals? You’ve gotta choose one or the other. You can’t be Metallica and DC Talk, you can’t be Metallitalk (copyright Tommy Lightning 2011)! Look, I love Jesus and I love Satan (in the metal sense, not the pagan sense) and I don’t see a thing wrong with that. People ask me, “Well, isn’t it hard when you’re on tour with all the alcohol, women, and drugs to stay faithful to the Lord’s will?” The answer is yes. It is hard. I drink copious amounts of alcohol, have unprotected sex with willing women, and do heroin to the point of critical addiction…but I repent. I repent bi-weekly, so it’s cool. God knows what’s up! God’s rad. He knows that for me to spread his message, I’m gonna have to get fucked up a little, know what I’m saying?
The whole idea of Christianity is pretty metal in and of itself when you think about it. Like fuckin’ horses that signal the apocalypse. Like, what???? That’s metal as fuck! Burning bushes talking. Metal. Parting bodies of water. Metal. Virgins gettin’ fuckin’ pregnant and shit. Metal. Lepracy. Metal. Jews. Metal. Children sitting on Jesus’ lap. Not metal but very heart warming and inspirational. I just feel showered in the Lord’s love at all times. Oh goodness! That give me an idea for a song!
Jesus shower me with your love
Fill me with you
Come on now Jesus
I want to go above
I want to be with you too
Love me Jesus
Love me sweet Lord
Love me Jesus
I’m coming to the gourd
The funny thing is, when recorded, this will all sound like poopy diarrhea.
