Nate Varrone

12th March 2013

Post with 7 notes

Late Night with Howard Stern

Rumor has it that Howard Stern is next in line to host Late Night. This cannot happen, guys. Why? Because Howard Stern sucks dick. Ok, I’ll give you a more concrete answer. Howard Stern still sucks dick but the Late Night franchise is all about experimentation, in my opinion. Letterman, O’Brien, and Fallon have all done a lot of experimental material with the help of their writing staffs. 

Howard Stern just doesn’t fit in with what Late Night is. At all. I hate this as I’m writing it but Late Night is young and cool and FRESHHH. It’s like if a dirty trucker was your new Social Media Manager at work. He could do the job, poorly, but it just wouldn’t feel right. 

Who should host Late Night when Jimmy Fallon leaves? I will give you two great improviser comedians that I think would be a perfect fit for the show. 

1.) Michael Patrick O’Brien, current SNL writer and host of 7 Minutes in Heaven. He hails from Chicago and was a part of The Second City Mainstage and The Reckoning. It’s obvious that POB would be a perfect choice due to his popular web series, 7 Minutes in Heaven. POB loves experimentation and interesting ways to find comedy. He’s also a phenomenal improviser. 

2.) Chris Gethard, host of The Chris Gethard Show. He’s a NYC performer at the UCB Theatre. I mean, this is plain and simple…he already is hosting a public access TV show right now that is full of great experimental comedy. Also a phenomenal improviser. I’ve seen him with The Stepfathers and UCB Tour Co and he kills it every time. This is a fucking no brainer. 

That is all. I will throw a big fit if Howard Stern gets Late Night. 

Tagged: mike o'brienchris gethardhoward sternlate night with jimmy fallon7 minutes in heaventhe chris gethard show

11th February 2013

Post with 3 notes

Two-Face Confusion

Batman: Who is it?

Two-Face: It’s me, Two-Face, Batman.

Batman: Damn, how did you find me?

Two-Face: I have my ways.

2-Face: Two-face. Batman. It is I, 2-face.

Batman: Wait, but he’s two-face.

Two-Face: Yeah, that’s me!

2-Face: No, I’m 2-face. The man with 2 faces. I came here to say, Two-Face, you should be called Two-Half Face.

Two-Face: No.

2-face: Because I actually have two whole faces.

Two-Face: Well, then why don’t you call yourself Two Whole Face.

2-Face: I won’t do that.

Two-Face: If you call yourself, Two Whole Face, then I’ll call myself Two-Half Face.

2-Face: Alright, deal.

Too Face: Did someone say Too Face?

Batman: Jesus Christ. Who are you?

Too-Face: I’m Too-Face.

Two-Face: I’m Two-Face.

2- Face: I’m 2-Face.

Too-Face: No, you’re not, because I’m Too-Face, the Batman villain with too much of a face.

Batman: You do have a very large face.

Too-Face: Yes, that’s right, too much of it, in fact, because I’m Too-Face. There’s too much of my face.

Two-Face: But I’m two-face.

Too-Face: Two?

Two-Face: Well, you only have one face. That man has two faces.

2 - Face: Exactly, thank you.

Batman: Two face, two face, Too face.

Two-Face: yes.

2-Face: yes

Too-Face: yes.

Batman: What did we come here to do?

All faces: Kill the batman! Hahahaha

Batman: Exactly, haha.

To-Face: Did someone say To-Face?

Batman immediately smashes To-Face’s face against a brick wall.

Two-Face: To-Face!

2- Face: To-Face!

Too-Face: To-Face!

All: No!

Batman punches Too-Face

2-Face: Too-Face!

Two-Face: Too-Face!

All: No!

Batman punches 2-Face

Two-Face: 2-Face. No!

Batman looks at Two Face

Two-Face: what are you going to do to me?

Batman: Well there can only be one two-face.

Two-Face: I think I’m going to go by One Half Fucked Up Sliver Face now.

Batman: Oh, that’s not bad.

One Half Fucked Up Silver Face: Did someone say One Half Fucked Up Silver Face.

Batman: Sliver!

One Half Fucked Up Silver Face: Silver?

Two-Face: Sliver.

One Half Fucked Up Silver Face: Silver?

Batman: Sliver, like a sliver of pizza.

One Half Fucked Up Silver Face: Oh, well if you put it in pizza terms, yeah sliver. Never mind then! Haha, I thought you wanted the man where one half of his face is fucked up and also made of silver.

Batman and Two-Face laugh together: No!

One Half Fucked Up Silver Face leaves. Batman pump fakes Two-Face. 

Batman: Just kidding let’s go get some ice cream.

Tagged: batmantwo-facetwo facecomic bookshumor piecebatman and robinthe batmantwo-face confusion